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Monday, September 01, 2008

Wrong Way Satnav

So a long lost friend came to visit this summer. He rented a car and also rented a GPS Satnav to guide him (and us) around. It managed to direct him from the airport to our home, so it seemed that things were fine.  It was only a couple of days later that we took both the car and the satnav on a longer journey. We should have figured out there was some problem when it didn’t know the way to Masada! Even the Romans managed to find Masada. You can’t really miss it - it is a big mountain! But Philippa (for this was the satnav’s name when she was speaking in English) had never heard of Masada. Or the Dead Sea! Or Ein Gedi! Hmmm! No matter, we asked her for directions to the edge of Jerusalem and followed the signs from there. (There was one slight moment of confusion when she told us to enter the roundabout and we were driving on an underpass at the time - someone hasn’t updated the maps for a while)!  The following day we went up north via the west and the middle and a bit of the coast. Once again smooth sailing, until she told us to turn left when there was no turn to be made. And then got cross with us for not listening! "RE NAVIGATING ROUTE". She sounded like a Dalek!

But why was she leading us off the beaten track onto all these small sidestreets? There was a perfectly good highway straight in front of us! Perhaps it was some evil alien plot to take over the world after first getting everyone thoroughly confused?

Do you remember that Doctor Who episode? My kids were a bit frightened.

ATMOS is marketing a satellite navigation system developed by child prodigy Luke Rattigan (Ryan Sampson). The system also reduces carbon dioxide emissions to zero; UNIT requested the Doctor’s help because the technology is not contemporary and potentially alien.

According to Wikipedia

Raynor [the writer of this episode] initially envisioned the poisonous gas would be emitted by factories, but changed it in later drafts to cars for several reasons: the episode would provide social commentary and the idea of an "evil satnav system" was "much more engageable" and "irresistible";

So we had a few nervous kids in the back seat of the car. Only on the way home did we realise that we had the GPS set to take us on the shortest route, rather than the quickest route. I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky that the machine decided we should at least stick to roads!

So I was thinking about the difference between the shortest way and the quickest way. Since it is now Elul, perhaps this is a metaphor for life. The first (and most important) thing is to have a destination. If you don’t know where you are going, or your GPS doesn’t recognise that destination you won’t get there (and won’t even know that you have arrived if you somehow stumble onto the right path).

Even once you know where to go and you know how to get there, you had better keep your eyes open. Sometimes the suggested path doesn’t fit the road you are travelling. Sometimes the traffic circle is no longer there and you have to take the underpass, or go straight instead of turning left.

Finally, we have to make sure that we are taking the BEST path. Not the shortest (and sometimes not even the quickest - you may have to avoid highway 6 because of the tolls!) but the best path. Shortcuts often take longer. And once you know the direction you are headed, you may be impatient to get there.

We blew the Shofar this morning as a wake up call. Only a month until Rosh Hashana. May we all find our GPS and set the correct direction.

Happy travelling.

 

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Choni Hamaagal 20th Adar

On this day, according to Megillas Taanis, Choni HaMaagal prayed and ended a three year drought. He famously drew a circle on the ground and declared to G-d that he would not leave the circle until the rain began to fall.

Choni lived in the time of Yehoshua ben Perachiah and Nitai HaArbeli which was also the time of the Maccabees. He was killed in the time of Anipatter and Aristobulus and according to Shalsheles Hakabbalah was killed in the civil war outside of Jerusalem.

According to one tradition, in the name of the Zohar, he was Pinchas ben Yair, and in his lifetime they found a para aduma (red heifer).

According to Seder HaDoros he was the grandson of the original Rip Van Winkle, who slept for 70 years (Taanis 23a) and woke up to see his grandson (who was also called Choni Hamaagal, just to confuse things). The grandson was the one who made the circle, and the Yerushalmi (Taanis 3: 10) tells us that he was the grandson of the original Choni who lived at the time of the destruction of the first Temple (perhaps his 70 year sleep coincided with the 70 year exile).

There is an opinion that it was the original Choni who drew the circle at the time of the First Temple. This would make more sense, because otherwise why would he have been called Choni Hamaagal (Choni the circle-drawer)? His grandson may have just inherited the name.

However Seder HaDoros favors the other opinion that it was the grandson who drew the circle. It was also he who was almost put in cherem by Shimon ben Shetach for making demands on G-d and not acting like a ‘frum’ Jew (see Talmud Berachos 19a)

According to Sefer HaGilgulim Choni was a reincarnation of Gidon (see Shoftim chapters 6-8) and his circle drawing was fixing the ‘sin’ of Gidon when he asked G-d to not allow dew to fall anywhere in the world apart from under his ephod.

This is the quote from Megillas Taanis, which is almost identical with the version we have recorded in the Talmud (Taanis 23a)

לד. בעשרין ביה צמו עמא למטרא ונחת להון
תרגום: בעשרים באדר ישב העם בתענית על הגשמים וירדו להם
מפני שהיה רעבון ובצרת בארץ ישראל, ולא ירדו להם גשמים שלש שנים זו אחר זו. והתפללו ולא ירדו גשמים. וכיון שראו שיצא רוב אדר ולא ירדו להם גשמים, הלכו להם אצל חוני המעגל

אמרו לו: התפלל שירדו גשמים.
אמר להם: צאו והכניסו תנורי פסחים בשביל שלא ימקו. התפלל ולא ירדו גשמים. עג עוגה ועמד בתוכה כדרך שעשה חבקוק הנביא שנאמר על משמרתי אעמודה ואתיצבה על מצור ואצפה לראות מה ידבר בי ומה אשיב על תוכחתי. אמר: רבונו של עולם בניך שמו פניהם עלי כשאני כבן בית לפניך. נשבע אני בשמך הגדול שאיני זז מכאן עד שתרחם על בניך.
התחילו הגשמים יורדין טפין טפין.
אמרו לו: רבי ראינוך לא נמות. כסבורין אנו לומר אין הגשמים הללו באין אלא להתיר שבועתך.
אמר להם: בני אל תמותו.
אמר: רבונו של עולם, לא כך שאלתי, אלא גשמי בורות שיחין ומערות.
התחילו הגשמים יורדין בזעף, כל טיפה וטיפה, כמלא פי חבית. ושערו חכמים טיפה אחת לוג.
אמרו לו: ראינוך לא נמות. כסבורין אנו לומר אין הגשמים הללו באים אלא להחריב את העולם.
אמר להם: בני אל תמותו.
אמר: רבונו של עולם, לא כך שאלתי, אלא גשמי רצון ברכה ונדבה. ירדו כתקנן, עד שעלו ישראל מירושלם להר הבית מפני רוב הגשמים.
אמרו לו: כשם שהתפללת עליהם שירדו, כך התפלל עליהם שלא ירדו וילכו להם.
אמר להם: אין מתפללין על רוב הגשמים. אלא לכו והביאו פר הודיות.
הלכו והביאו לו פר הודיות. סמך שתי ידיו עליו ונתפלל ואמר: רבונו של עולם, ראה עמך ישראל ונחלתך אשר הוצאת בכוחך הגדול ובזרועך הנטויה, שאין יכולין לעמוד לא ברוב זעמך ולא ברוב טובך. כעסת עליהם - אין יכולין לעמוד. השפעת להם טובך - אין יכולין לעמוד. יהי רצון מלפניך שיהא רוח.
מיד נשבה הרוח ונתפזרו העבים וזרחה החמה ונתנגבה הארץ, ויצאו הכל לשדה, וראו את המדבר שהוא מלא כמהין ופטריות.
שלח לו שמעון בן שטח: אלמא חוני המעגל אתה, גוזרני עליך נידוי. שאלו היו שנים כשני אליהו, לא נמצא שם שמים מתחלל על ידך? אבל מה אעשה לך, שאתה מתחטא לפני המקום כבן שהוא מתחטא על אביו, ועושה לו רצונו. אומר לו הבא לי חמין - ומביא לו, הבא לי צונן - ומביא לו, תן לי אגוזים - ונותן לו, תן לי רמונים - ונותן לו, תן לי אפרסקין - ונותן לו. ועליך הכתוב אומר “ישמח אביך ואמך ותגל יולדתך”.

אותו היום עשאוהו יום טוב, לפי שאין הגשמים יורדים אלא בזכותן של ישראל.
שנאמר יפתח ה’ לך את אוצרו הטוב את השמים. לך - בזכותך ובך הדבר תלוי.
ואומר ונברכו בך כל משפחות האדמה ובזרעך. בך - בזכותך הגשמים יורדין, והטללים יורדין בזכותך.
ואומר ונתתי גשמיכם בעתם.
ומעשה שנתענו בימי שמואל הקטן, וירדו להם גשמים קדם הנץ החמה. כסבורים העם לומר שבח הוא להם.
אמר להם: הרי אתם דומים למלך שכעס על בנו, אמר לאפטרופוס שלו: אל תתן לו פרנסתו, עד שיבכה ויתחנן לפני.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Happiness of the 28th of Teves

Today is a festive day according to Megillas Taanis. It is the day that the Sanhedrin was restored to the Rabbis who believed in the authority of the Oral Law.

It seems that for quite a long period of history, during the Second Temple, the Saducees controlled Judaism, converted the King to their way of thinking, and killed or expelled the Rabbis who believed in the Oral Law. Normative Judaism was at threat of being lost completely. The Oral Law that could be traced back to Moshe and Mount Sinai was about to be lost to the Saducees who (like the Karaites later in history) denied its validity.

Yehoshua ben Perachia fled to Alexandria in Egypt with some of his students to avoid being killed. Only Shimon ben Shetach remained under the protection of his sister, the Queen.

Interestingly the downfall of the Saducees was the fact that they Written Torah didn’t provide answers to all the questions that were asked. They were undone because they were forced to acknowledge the need for an Oral Law. And the irony is that it was Shimon ben Shetach, the leader of authentic Judaism, who believed in the Oral Law, who was able to bring proofs for everything from the Written Torah!

This is the wording of <a href="http://www.daat.ac.il/daat/toshba/makor/megilat-2.htm" title="Megillas Taanis">Megillas Taanis</a>:

<blockquote>בעשרים ושמונה בטבת ישבה הכנסת על הדין

יום שנסתלקה סנהדרין של צדוקים וישבה סנהדרין של ישראל עשאוהו יום טוב.

מפני שהיו הצדוקין יושבין בסנהדרין ינאי המלך, ושלמינון המלכה יושבת אצלו, ולא אחד מישראל יושב עמהם חוץ משמעון בן שטח.

והיו שואלין תשובות והלכות, ולא היו יודעין להביא ראיה מן התורה.

אמר להם שמעון בן שטח: כל מי שהוא יודע להביא ראיה מן התורה כשר לישב בסנהדרין.

פעם אחת נפל דבר של מעשה ביניהם ולא היו יודעים להביא ראיה מן התורה אלא אחד שהיה מפטפט כנגדו, ואומר תן לי זמן ולמחר אשוב.

נתן לו זמן. הלך וישב לו בינו לבין עצמו, ואינו יכול להביא ראיה מן התורה.

למחר נתביש לבא ולישב בסנהדרין, והעמיד שמעון בן שטח אחד מן התלמידים והושיבו במקומו.

אמר להם: אין פוחתין בסנהדרין משבעים ואחד.

וכך עשה להם בכל יום ויום, עד שנסתלקו כלם וישבה סנהדרין של ישראל.

</blockquote>

<blockquote>On the 28th of Teves the Kinesses (Sanhedrin) was properly constituted.

The Saducees sat in the Sanhedrin of King Yannai (who was a Saducee) and his wife, Shalminon (Shlomtzion), sat with him. There was nobody of Israel in the Sanhedrin except for Shimon ben Shetach (who was Shlomtzion’s brother). They would ask questions and laws, and they were unable to bring proofs from the Torah. Shimon ben Shetach announced that only someone who is able to bring a proof from the Torah is fitting to sit on the Sanhedrin.

One time a halachic issue arose, and they were unable to bring a proof from the Torah. One of their number was claiming that he needed more time to find a proof from the Torah. He asked for 24 hours to find the answer.

They gave him 24 hours, and he went and sat by himself, but was unable to bring a proof from the Torah. The next day he was too embarrassed to return to the Sanhedrin. Shimon ben Shetach replaced him with an Israelite, saying that the Sanhedrin cannot have less than 71 members.

They continued doing this every day until all the Saducees were removed and the Sanhedrin consisted entirely of Isralites.

The day that the Sanhedrin of Saducees was removed and replaced with a Sanhedrin of Israel (followers of Rabbinic tradition) was made into a festive day.

</blockquote>

May we merit to once again see the authority returned to its authentic source, and may the decisions that affect all of Klal Yisrael be made by those who believe in the Torah and Israel.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Caring for Sheep

One of the many stories in the Torah that I find particularly meaningful is the verses and Midrashim that explain why Moshe was selected to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Despite his many great qualities, spiritual, physical and socio-political, it was his concern for the well being of his sheep that made him ideal for the task. Now I like this story for many reasons, not least of which because it is good for the New Zealand sheep business. But the message is so powerful and so timely. To be able to lead others, you have to care about them. And to care about them means to worry if they don’t have enough food, drink, friends, love etc.

A good friend just lent me “The Screwtape Letters” by CS Lewis, which is a fantastic mussar sefer (even if it is Xtian). Screwtape is a demon who is writing to his nephew, Wormwood, advising him on how best to ensure that the ‘patient’ ends up in Hell. Lewis captures very well the emotions and thoughts that lead a person away from G-d, and those which can bring a person closer to G-d. There is a pasage there in the third letter (I’ve only just started reading the book, and haven’t got very far yet), which says:

It is, no doubt, impossible to prevent his praying for his mother, but we have means of rendering the prayers innocuous. Make sure that they are always very “spiritual”, that he is always concerned with the state of her soul and never with her rheumatism. Two advantages follow. In the first place, his attention will be kept on what he regards as her sins, by which, with a little guidance from you, he can be induced to mean any of her actions which are inconvenient or irritating to himself. Thus you can keep rubbing the wounds of the day a little sorer even while he is on his knees; the operation is not at all difficult and you will find it very entertaining. In the second place, since his ideas about her soul will be very crude and often erroneous, he will, in some degree, be praying for an imaginary person, and it will be your task to make that imaginary person daily less and less like the real mother—the sharp-tongued old lady at the breakfast table. In time, you may get the cleavage so wide that no thought or feeling from his prayers for the imagined mother will ever flow over into his treatment of the real one. I have had patients of my own so well in hand that they could be turned at a moment’s notice from impassioned prayer for a wife’s or son’s “soul” to beating or insulting the real wife or son without a qualm.

Looking around us, we see so many instances of ‘frum’ people caring so deeply about the spiritual wellbeing of others that they happily ‘beat’ or ‘insult’ without qualm. It is all very well to put up posters about modesty and separate bus lines, kashrus and putting books in cherem. But do they also care about the people themselves?

So, best line of the day so far, and one which will guarantee a place in hell is:

Make sure that you are always very “spiritual”, that you is always concerned with the state of others’ souls and never with their rheumatism

Monday, December 17, 2007

Three Days of Darkness

Today, the 8th of Tevet, is mentioned in the Shulchan Aruch (OC 580: 2) as a fast day for tzadikim. It is the anniversary of the translation of the Torah into Greek in the time of Ptolemy.

The Shulchan Aruch says that three days of darkness descended to the world as a result of this translation.

On the eighth of Teven the Torah was written in Greek in the days of King Ptolemy, and there were three days of darkness.

In Masechet Sofrim (1: 7) it says that this day was as difficult for the Jews as the day that the Golden Calf was built:

It happened once that five Elders translated the Torah into Greek for King Ptolemy. That day was as difficult for Israel as the day that they made the Golden Calf, because the Torah was not able to be translated properly.

We also have a contemporary Greek/Egyptian account of the translation, which is not identical with the version(s) in the Talmud (Megilla 9a) and Midrashim (Avos d’Rebbe Nasan 37 ). It does, however, give historical background and basis for the Rabbinic accounts.

Letter of Aristeas

Demetrius of Phalerum, the president of the king’s library, received vast sums of money, for the purpose of collecting together, as far as he possibly could, all the books in the world. By means of purchase and transcription, he carried out, to the best of his ability, the purpose of the king. On one occasion when I was present he was asked, How many thousand books are there in the library? and he replied, ‘More than two hundred thousand, O king, and I shall make endeavour in the immediate future to gather together the remainder also, so that the total of five hundred thousand may be reached. I am told that the laws of the Jews are worth transcribing and deserve a place in your library.’ ‘What is to prevent you from doing this?’ replied the king. ‘Everything that is necessary has been placed at your disposal.’ ‘They need to be translated,’ answered Demetrius, ‘for in the country of the Jews they use a peculiar alphabet (just as the Egyptians, too, have a special form of letters) and speak a peculiar dialect. They are supposed to use the Syriac tongue, but this is not the case; their language is quite different.’ And the king when he understood all the facts of the case ordered a letter to be written to the Jewish High Priest that his purpose (which has already been described) might be accomplished.
...

The king ordered a letter to be written to Eleazar on the matter…

The letter of the king ran as follows:

‘King Ptolemy sends greeting and salutation to the High Priest Eleazar. Since there are many Jews settled in our realm who were carried off from Jerusalem by the Persians at the time of their power and many more who came with my father into Egypt as captives

...

Now since I am anxious to show my gratitude to these men and to the Jews throughout the world and to the generations yet to come, I have determined that your law shall be translated from the Hebrew tongue which is in use amongst you into the Greek language, that these books may be added to the other royal books in my library. It will be a kindness on your part and a regard for my zeal if you will select six elders from each of your tribes, men of noble life and skilled in your law and able to interpret it, that in questions of dispute we may be able to discover the verdict in which the majority agree, for the investigation is of the highest possible importance. I hope to win great renown by the accomplishment of this 40 work.

Most people don’t fast today, since it would be too hard to have two fasts in a week (with the Tenth of Tevet coming up on Wednesday). But this is a day of tragedy for the Jewish people.

May we all merit soon to see the coming of Mashiach, and may the days of mourning and tragedy become days of happiness and celebration.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Rebbi’s Yahrzeit

Yesterday, Sunday 25th November 2007 - 15th Kislev 5768 was the Yarzheit of Rebbi Yehuda HaNassi, the Tanna and compiler of the Mishna. The Talmud at the end of Sotah tells us that:

WHEN RABBI DIED, HUMILITY AND FEAR OF SIN CEASED. R. Yosef said to the Tanna, [when reciting this Mishnah] do not include the word ‘humility’, because there is I. R. Nahman said to the teacher, Do not include ‘fear of sin’, because there is I.

(Whatever that last line means).

The Talmud near the end of Ketubot (p. 103b-104a) describes the end of Rebbi’s life, and his instructions to his children and students:

Our Rabbis taught: When Rabbi was about to depart [from this life] he said, ‘I require [the presence] of my sons’. When his sons entered into his presence he instructed them: ‘Take care that you show due respect to your mother. The light shall continue to burn in its usual place, the table shall be laid in its usual place [and my] bed shall be spread in its usual place. Yosef of Haifa and Shimon of Efrat who attended on me in my lifetime shall attend on me when I am dead’.
‘Take care that you show due respect to your mother’. Is [not this instruction] from the Torah, since it is written, “Honour your father and your mother?” — She was their stepmother. [Is not the commandment to honour] a stepmother also from the Torah, for it was taught: “Honour your father and your mother,” “your father” includes your stepmother,”and your mother” includes your Stepfather, and the superfluous vav includes your elder brother? — This exposition [was meant to apply] during [one’s own parents’] lifetime but not after [their] death.
‘The light shall continue to burn in its usual place, the table shall be laid in its usual place [and my] bed shall be spread in its usual place’. What is the reason? — He used to come home again at twilight every Sabbath Eve. On a certain Erev Shabbos a neighbour came to the door speaking aloud, when his handmaid whispered, ‘Be quiet for Rebbi is sitting there’. As soon as he heard this he came no more, in order that no bad reflection might be cast on the earlier tzadikim.
‘Yosef of Haifa and Shimon of Efrat who attended on me in my lifetime shall attend on me when I am dead’. He was understood to mean, ‘In this world’. When it was seen however, that their biers preceded his (i.e. they died before Rebbi) [all] said that the conclusion must be that he was referring to the other world, and that the reason why he mentioned it was that it might not be suspected that they were guilty of some offence and that it was only the merit of Rebbi that protected them until that moment.
‘I require’, he said to them, ‘[the presence] of the Sages of Israel’, and the Sages of Israel entered into his presence. ‘Do not eulogise me’, he said to them, ‘in the smaller towns, and reassemble the yeshiva after thirty days. My son Shimon is wise, my son Gamliel shall be Nasi and Chanina ben Chama shall preside [at the yeshiva].
‘Do not eulogise me in the smaller towns’. He was understood to give this instruction in order [to cause less] trouble. As it was observed, however, that when eulogies were held in the large towns everybody came, they came to the conclusion that his instruction was due to [a desire to enhance] the honour [of the people].
‘Reassemble the yeshiva after thirty days’, because [he thought] ‘I am not more important than our teacher Moses concerning whom it is Written in Scripture, And the children of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moav thirty days’.
For thirty days they mourned both day and night; subsequently they mourned in the day-time and studied at night or mourned at night and studied during the day, until a period of twelve months of mourning [had passed].
On the day that Rebbi died a bas kol went forth and announced: Whoever was present at the death of Rebbi is destined to enjoy the life of the world to come. A certain tailor, who used to come to him every day, failed to call on that day; and, as soon as he heard this, went up upon a roof, fell down to the ground and died. A bas kol came forth and announced: That fuller also is destined to enjoy the life of the world to come.
‘My son Shimon is wise’. What did he mean? — It is this that he meant: Although my son Shimon is wise, my son Gamliel shall be the Nasi. Said Levi, ‘Was It necessary to state this?’ — It was necessary’, replied R. Shimon ben Rebbi, ‘for yourself and for your lameness’. What was his difficulty? Does not Scripture state, But the kingdom gave he to Yehoram, because he was the firstborn? — The other was properly representing his ancestors but R. Gamliel was not properly representing his ancestors. Then why did Rebbi act in the manner he did? — Granted that he was not representing his ancestors In wisdom he was worthily representing them in his fear of sin.
‘Chanina ben Chama shall preside at the college’. R. Chanina, however, did not accept [the office] because R. Afes was by two and a half years older than he; and so R. Afes presided. R. Chanina sat [at his studies] outside [the lecture room], and Levi came and joined him. When R. Afes went to his eternal rest and R. Chanina took up the presidency Levi had no one to join him and came in consequence to Babylon.
…
It was taught: Rebbi was lying [on his sickbed] at Tzippori but a [burial] place was reserved for him at Beis She’arim.
Was it not, however, taught: Justice, justice shalt thou follow. follow Rebbi to Beis She’arim? — Rebbi was [indeed] living at Beis She’arim but when he fell ill he was brought to Tzippori because it was situated on higher ground and its air was salubrious.
On the day when Rebbi died the Rabbis decreed a public fast and offered prayers for heavenly mercy. They announced that whoever said that Rebbi was dead would be stabbed with a sword.
Rebbi’s handmaid ascended the roof and prayed: ‘the immortals desire Rebbi [to join them] and the mortals desire Rebbi [to remain with them]; may it be the will [of God] that the mortals may overpower the immortals’. When, however, she saw how often he needed the bathroom, painfully taking off his tefillin and putting them on again, she prayed: ‘May it be the will [of the Almighty] that the immortals may overpower the mortals’. As the Rabbis incessantly continued their prayers for [heavenly] mercy she took up a jar and threw it down from the roof to the ground. [For a moment] they ceased praying and the soul of Rebbi departed to its eternal rest.
‘Go’, said the Rabbis to Bar Kappara, ‘and investigate’. He went and, finding that [Rebbi] was dead, he tore his cloak and turned the tear backwards. [On returning to the Rabbis] he began: ‘The angels and the mortals have taken hold of the Holy Ark. The angels overpowered the mortals and the Holy Ark has been captured’. ‘Has he’, they asked him, ‘gone to his eternal rest?’ — ‘You said it; I did not say it’.
Rebbi, at the time of his passing, raised his ten fingers towards heaven and said: ‘Sovereign of the Universe, it is revealed and known to you that I have laboured in the study of the Torah with my ten fingers and that I did not enjoy [any worldly] benefits even with my little finger. May it be Your will that there be peace in my resting place’. A bas kol echoed, announcing, He shall enter into peace; they shall rest on their beds.

May His Soul Be Bound in the Bonds of Eternal Life

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Top Ten Excuses for Missing Shul

These are the Top Ten Excuses for Missing Shul on Shabbos Morning. Please use them with discretion.

Excuse Number 10: The Dog ate my Shabbos Shoes

Excuse Number 9: The Cholent overpowered me and wouldn’t let me leave the house

Excuse Number 8: I was meditating on a higher plane and lost track of existence

Excuse Number 7: It wasn’t Shabbos in Australia

Excuse Number 6: I was kidnapped and taken to the college football, and I only just escaped (and walked back on foot)

Excuse Number 5: Aliens landed on my front lawn and demanded that I take them to my leader, so I spent Shabbos with the Rebbe

Excuse Number 4: I davened at the earlier minyan (use with caution - sometimes this excuse is not believed)

Excuse Number 3: I’ve become an Amshenover Chasid and it is only Tuesday for me

Excuse Number 2: The Farbrengen went on too late last night after the Tisch

And Excuse Number 1: I was so engrossed in my daf yomi that I lost track of time

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

WWTD - What would the Talmud do?

The latest news from Iran (no, I don’t mean the nuclear reactor, or the hanging of homosexuals or the ‘honour killings’ of women who are raped) is that Moshe Aryeh Freidman has gone back for another visit. In case you don’t remember, he was part of a group of Neturei Karta (who have since been expelled from that organisation) who went to Iran for a conference denying the holocaust. He has been more outspoken than any of the others (all of whom have since ‘apologised’ - whatever that means), and has spoken on Iran TV, and a university lecture tour denying the holocaust. (More specifically, he admits there was a holocaust, but based on his ‘research’ says that ‘only’ 1,000,000 Jews were killed, not 6,000,000!)

his wife has left him

Moshe Aryeh Friedman, a senior Neturei Karta member, who passionately kissed Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, will now be forced to look for a woman who will agree to kiss him, as his wife has decided to leave him following his participation in the Holocaust denial conference which took place in Tehran about a month ago.

He got kicked out of a hotel in New York in which he and his family were staying (presumably that is before she left him)

Moshe Aryeh Friedman, a member of the Natorei Karta, who attended the Holocaust denial conference in Teheran last month, was asked to leave a hotel in Brooklyn over the weekend, where he was staying with his wife and four children. It was the latest in a string of protests against the anti-Zionist sect.

and his kids were expelled from school

The children of an Austrian rabbi who attended an Iranian conference that questioned the Holocaust have been expelled from their school and told no other Jewish school in Austria will take them, their father said Tuesday.

Moishe Arye Friedman said he has begun legal proceedings against the school. He said his four school-age children were told to leave Monday.

Friedman showed a letter with school letterhead that explained that one of the reasons for the expulsions was his “outrageous behavior” in attending the Holocaust conference last month .

and beaten up

Before coming to Iran, Rabbi Friedman’s children were attacked by Zionist elements in Austria and Britain in retaliation for the fact that the rabbi had attended the Tehran Holocaust Conference in December 2006.

His children required hospitalization after the attacks.

I must add that given the lies he has told publicly it is entirely possible that all of these ‘facts’ are fabricated. He claims that it was all the work of the Mossad (paranoia?), so perhaps it is all in his mind. But all in all, not a guy you would want to spend time with (what does Ahmenijad see in him?)

Anyway, his most recent trip (and discussion with a few people) left me thinking about one issue. According to Ynet news:

According to Ynet, Moshe Friedman has once again been caught on camera embracing Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Friedman and a few other cronies received world-wide fame last year, when they attended the holocaust denial conference. This time, holocaust-denier-Friedman is currently in Tehran where he is scheduled to appear on Iranian TV “to unequivocally clarify the different between Zionism and Judaism.”

Friedman reportedly met up with his long time pal this past Motzei Shabbos - dressed in his Shabbos attire - and Friedman delivered a message of peace for Jews and Muslims.

Ahmadinejad said he shared Friedman vision about a day “when Jerusalem is free from Zionism, and Muslims and Jews will pray together.”

I’m not quite sure how he managed to fly from Austria to Iran and arrive on a Motzei Shabbat (and from the looks of the photo it is daylight as well). I suspect that he put his Shabbos clothes on specially to greet Ahmenijad. My question is, given that he is absolutely wrong on everything else he has and is doing, is he right to wear Shabbos clothes and Streimel for his kissing invitation to the Supreme Ruler?

The Talmud in Brachos (9b) says:

For R. Yochanan said: A man should always be eager to run to see the kings of Israel. And not only to see the kings of Israel, but also to see the kings of the Gentiles, so that, if he is found worthy, he may be able to distinguish between the kings of Israel and the kings of the Gentiles.

I’m not exactly sure who qualifies as a ‘King’ and who doesn’t, but it seems to me that Ahmenajad is one of the most powerful people in the world. He certainly has the authority to sentence people to death, and as we speak is attempting to destroy another country (Israel).

Perhaps we should all put on our Shabbos clothes and go to see Ahmenajad, to fulfil the statement of the Talmud (just not grovel, or deny the holocaust, or support the Iranian stance vis a vis Israel)

What do you think?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

4th Kislev - Final Prophecy

Today, fourth of Kislev, is the anniversary of the last time that G-d spoke directly to a prophet. Rashi on Yoma 21b (with the glosses in the margin) explains that the Shechina and Ruach HaKodesh didn’t rest on prophets from the fourth year of Darius’s reign.

Even though Malachi is listed as the last prophet in the Tanach, Zechariah’s prophecy spanned his prophecy and continued afterward.

It is not clear why prophecy stopped (although there are many theories - for example the Vilna Gaon links it to the visit of Alexander the Great to Jerusalem, others link it to the Anshei K’nesses removing the yetzer hara for idolatry), or even whether it has ceased (Rambam seems to imply that there could be prophecy today, although there isn’t for some reason).

This text is beautiful - especially as the final direct word from G-d to His poeple. Even though it is at the time of the building of the Second Temple there is already a promise of the future exile and redemption. And wherever we are in the world, G-d cares about us and will bring us back to Israel.

7:1 It happened in the fourth year of king Darius that the word of the LORD came to Zechariah in the fourth day of the ninth month, the month of Kislev.  7:2 The people of Bet-el sent Sharezer and Regem Melech, and their men, to entreat the L-rd’s favor, 7:3 and to speak to the Cohanim of the house of the L-rd of Hosts, and to the prophets, saying, “Should I weep in the fifth month, separating myself, as I have done these so many years?”

7:4 Then the word of the L-rd of Hosts came to me, saying, 7:5 “Speak to all the people of the land, and to the priests, saying, ‘When you fasted and mourned in the fifth and in the seventh month for these seventy years, did you at all fast to me, really to me? 7:6 When you eat, and when you drink, don’t you eat for yourselves, and drink for yourselves? 7:7 Aren’t these the words which the L-rd proclaimed by the former prophets, when Yerushalayim was inhabited and in prosperity, and its cities around her, and the South and the lowland were inhabited?’”

7:8 The word of the L-rd came to Zechariah, saying, 7:9 “Thus has the L-rd of Hosts spoken, saying, ‘Execute true judgment, and show kindness and compassion every man to his brother. 7:10 Don’t oppress the widow, nor the fatherless, the foreigner, nor the poor; and let none of you devise evil against his brother in your heart.’ 7:11 But they refused to listen, and turned their backs, and stopped their ears, that they might not hear. 7:12 Yes, they made their hearts as hard as flint, lest they might hear the law, and the words which the L-rd of Hosts had sent by his Spirit by the former prophets. Therefore great wrath came from the L-rd of Hosts. 7:13 It has come to pass that, as he called, and they refused to listen, so they will call, and I will not listen,” said the L-rd of Hosts; 7:14 “but I will scatter them with a whirlwind among all the nations which they have not known. Thus the land was desolate after them, so that no man passed through nor returned: for they made the pleasant land desolate.”

8:1 The word of the L-rd of Hosts came to me. 8:2 Thus says the L-rd of Hosts: “I am jealous for Tzion with great jealousy, and I am jealous for her with great wrath.”

8:3 Thus says the L-rd: “I have returned to Tzion, and will dwell in the midst of Jerusalem. Yerushalayim shall be called ‘The City of Truth;’ and the mountain of the L-rd of Hosts, ‘The Holy Mountain.’”

8:4 Thus says the L-rd of Hosts: “Old men and old women will again dwell in the streets of Jerusalem, every man with his staff in his hand for very age. 8:5 The streets of the city will be full of boys and girls playing in its streets.”

8:6 Thus says the L-rd of Hosts: “If it is marvelous in the eyes of the remnant of this people in those days, should it also be marvelous in my eyes?” says the L-rd of Hosts.

8:7 Thus says the L-rd of Hosts: “Behold, I will save my people from the east country, and from the west country; 8:8 and I will bring them, and they will dwell in the midst of Yerushalayim; and they will be my people, and I will be their G-d, in truth and in righteousness.”

8:9 Thus says the L-rd of Hosts: “Let your hands be strong, you who hear in these days these words from the mouth of the prophets who were in the day that the foundation of the house of the L-rd of Hosts was laid, even the temple, that it might be built. 8:10 For before those days there was no wages for man, nor any wages for an animal; neither was there any peace to him who went out or came in, because of the adversary. For I set all men everyone against his neighbor. 8:11 But now I will not be to the remnant of this people as in the former days,” says the L-rd of Hosts. 8:12 “For the seed of peace and the vine will yield its fruit, and the ground will give its increase, and the heavens will give their dew; and I will cause the remnant of this people to inherit all these things. 8:13 It shall come to pass that, as you were a curse among the nations, house of Yehudah and house of Israel, so will I save you, and you shall be a blessing. Don’t be afraid. Let your hands be strong.”

8:14 For thus says the L-rd of Hosts: “As I thought to do evil to you, when your fathers provoked me to wrath,” says the L-rd of Hosts, “and I didn’t repent; 8:15 so again have I thought in these days to do good to Yerushalayim and to the house of Yehudah. Don’t be afraid. 8:16 These are the things that you shall do: speak every man the truth with his neighbor. Execute the judgment of truth and peace in your gates, 8:17 and let none of you devise evil in your hearts against his neighbor, and love no false oath: for all these are things that I hate,” says the L-rd.

8:18 The word of the L-rd of Hosts came to me. 8:19 Thus says the L-rd of Hosts: “The fasts of the fourth fifth, seventh, and tenth months shall be for the house of Yehudah joy and gladness, and cheerful feasts. Therefore love truth and peace.”

8:20 Thus says the L-rd of Hosts: “Many peoples, and the inhabitants of many cities will yet come; 8:21 and the inhabitants of one shall go to another, saying, ‘Let us go speedily to entreat the favor of the L-rd, and to seek the L-rd of Hosts. I will go also.’ 8:22 Yes, many peoples and strong nations will come to seek the L-rd of Hosts in Jerusalem, and to entreat the favor of the L-rd.” 8:23 Thus says the L-rd of Hosts: “In those days, ten men will take hold, out of all the languages of the nations, they will take hold of the skirt of him who is a Jew, saying, ‘We will go with you, for we have heard that G-d is with you.’”

After this, according to the Gemara in Bava Basra (14b), prophecy superseded by the ‘wisdom’ of the Sages and scholars. What prophecy remained was given to the children and the fools! 

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Top Ten Bibilical Names…

… That you probably won’t name your kids:

In alphabetical order this time:

Number 1 Artaxerxes: Ezra 7:13-28.

Number 2 Merodach-baladan: Isaiah 39: 1

Number 3 Chedorlaomer: Bereishis 14

Number 4 Chushan-Rishathaim Shoftim 3: 8

Number 5 Gomer: HOshea 1: 3

Number 6 Hadadrimmon Zechariah 12: 11

Number 7 Ham: Bereishis 5: 32

Number 8 Ishbi-benob:  Shmuel 2 21: 16

Number 9 Jeconiah: Divrei Hayamim 2 36: 9

Number 10 Maher-shalal-hash-baz: Isaiah 8: 1– 3

AND TWO BONUS NAMES I COULDN’T LEAVE OUT:

Number 11 Nun: Divre Hayamim 1 7: 26-7

Number 12 Rabmag: Yirmiyahu 39: 3,13

This is only part 1 of the list. There are so many great names in the Bible that are underused nowadays. Please feel free to add your own favourites. Keep watching for ‘Top Ten Biblical Names that you probably won’t name your kids’ part 2. Coming soon

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Top Ten Things NOT to do During a Sermon

TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO DURING THE RABBI’S SERMON:

Number 10: Read a book

Number 9: Pretend to be reading a book

Number 8: Read a banned book

Number 7: Fall asleep

Number 6: Fall asleep and snore loudly

Number 5: play ‘Sermon Cricket’ (see below)

Number 4: give a running commentary on ‘Sermon Cricket’ to the person next to you

Number 3: give a running commentary on ‘Sermon Cricket’ to the person across the room from you

Number 2: Give a live update on the current cricket test score

and the Number 1 thing not to do when the Rabbi is giving the sermon: answer your cell phone to get the latest cricket test score, after leaving it ringing loudly for quite a while first!

‘Sermon Cricket’

‘Sermon Cricket’ is a game almost as old as cricket itself. It is loosely based on the traditional laws of cricket (though without the batsmen, balls, bowlers or wickets).

Certain phrases, such as ‘parsha’, ‘sedra’, ‘torah’ score a single. ‘Rashi’, ‘Ramban’ or any other Rishon is worth two runs. ‘Hell’, ‘Heaven’ or any synonym is a four. And if the Rabbi mentions ‘G-d’ that is a whopping great SIX.

Wickets and some runs are taken by the Rabbi’s hand gestures - pointed finger being run out and a sorrowful shake of his head a turning down of a certain LBW appeal.

One Rabbi prone to a wagging digit as he rammed home his points got the entire visiting Australian side out for a virtual 9 runs!

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Top Ten Words that sound like they are Yiddish but Aren’t

Top Ten Words That Sound as though they are Yiddish, but Aren’t:

Number 10 - Farfetched

Number 9 - Invocation

Number 8 - Flummoxed

Number 7 - Gobsmacked

Number 6 - Innersprung

Number 5 - Gerund

Number 4 - Forefinger

Number 3 - Henpecked

Number 2 - Scooped

AND the Number 1 Word That Sounds as though it is Yiddish, but Isn’t is… - Gazumped

What would you add??

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Rabbeinu Yonah on Pirkei Avos

NEW BOOK - RABBEINU YONAH on PIRKEI AVOS

Rav Wolbe writes that a person who wants to lay down the foundation for his spiritual world is required to acquire extensive fundamental knowledge of Pirkei Avos with the commentary of Rabeinu Yona z’l. (Alei Shur vol. 1 p. 29).

The Maharik says that "there is none like Rabbeinu Yonah to bring the matter to the heart". For the first time this essential commentary is available to the English speaking public.

The book is over 400 pages and contains extensive footnotes and sources.

Translated by Rabbi David Sedley and published by Torahlab, it is not yet available in stores.

What people are saying about Rabbeinu Yonah on Pirkei Avos:

“this is a very beautiful book”

“Rabbeinu Yonah is THE Rishon on Avos, but unfortunately is not widely studied. Now the text is accesible to a wide audience.”

“It is incredible that until now there has been no English translation of Rabbeinu Yonah on Pirkei Avot. This excellent translation fills a big gap in any English Jewish library.”

Monday, September 24, 2007

Archeology - not an exact science

It has bothered me for some time that we have virtually no archeological evidence for any of the stories in the Torah or Nach.

Many years ago I remember a cover article in Time magazine which used this lack of evidence to ‘prove’ whether or not the Exodus ever happened.

Why can’t we find any of the altars that Avraham built? Where are the wells dug by Yitzchak? Why can’t we find the rock that Yaakov slept on, or the gal-ed that he set up to mark the border between himself and Lavan? Where is the evidence that the Israelites lived in Egypt for a few hundred years? etc. etc.

Today’s news put this in context for me. For years people have tried to figure out where the stones that were used to build the Temple were hewn from. I remember each tour guide had a different theory as to how far these rocks must have traveled to come to Jerusalem.

Now we know the answer. This just in from Israel National News.

The Antiquities Authority announced today that it has found the quarry that supplied the giant stones for the building of the Temple Mount.  The quarry is located in what is now one of Jerusalem’s newest neighborhoods, Ramat Shlomo (also known as Reches Shuafat), between Ramot and French Hill.  The quarry was found in the course of an archaeological rescue dig prior to the construction of a neighborhood school.

The ancient quarry is spread out over at least five dunams (1.25 acres), with rocks between three and eight meters long - the size of those that can still be seen today at the foundations of the Temple Mount and in the Western Wall - hewn out of the ground.

Remember how big those stones are! This is a quarry covering one and a quarter acres! That is a big piece of land, with a BIG hole in it. Yet for decades nobody has discovered this archeological site. And even now, it was only discovered by chance when they were trying to build a school.

Perhaps I could have understood not finding this if it was in some remote and unlikely location. But look at this:

The Shuafat mountain is some 80 meters higher than the Temple Mount.  That, and its proximity to the main road to Jerusalem from the north, made this quarry a prime candidate to provide the rocks to be used in the city’s important buildings.  Teams of oxen pulled the giant stones down the moderate incline towards the city. The rocks were then placed upon the bedrock, forming the foundation of the Temple Mount, and keeping it stable and firm without the use of concrete even up until today.

Let me say that again: This quarry is a prime candidate to provide the rocks!!!

They have only just found an enormous archaeological find, in one of the most obvious places to find it, by a fluke of good luck!

In that case, what chance to archaeologists have of finding the toothpicks that Avraham used when serving his angel guests hors d’oeuvres? Should we be bothered that we can’t find the barbeques that the Israelites used at the foot of Mount Sinai? Don’t hold your breath for any of the altars or rocks or wells from the time of our patriarchs.

(Of course all of this makes it even more criminal that our elected government is letting the Wakf destroy all archaeological evidence from the actual Temple Mount itself!)

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Why was Shimon a Tzadik?

Everyone knows the second mishna in pirkei avos: �Shimon Hatzadik was one of the last of the men of the great assembly��. I must have learned this mishna dozens, if not hundreds, of times. Yet this week I was struck by a question which I have not yet found an answer to. I wanted to share it with you, and hopefully someone will have something to help me.
The question is very simple. Why was Shimon Hatzadik called Hatzadik? What did he do (or not do) that made him one of the very few people in Jewish history to be known as �righteous�? (I think the only other two are Yosef Hatzadik and Binyamin Hatzadik.) I had assumed that there was some statement of Chazal that would explain this title, or some well known tradition about his righteousness.
But (as you may have guessed by now) there isn�t!
As far as I know, apart from this Mishna, Shimon Hatzadik appears only twice more in Shas. (actually there is also a statement in Yoma 9a that he served as Cohen Gadol for 40 years).
There is the famous story of him meeting Alexander of Macedonia (Yoma 69a). Shimon Hatzadik came out to greet Alexander (who was on his way to conquer Jerusalem) wearing his Cohen Gadol outfit. When Alexander saw him, he dismounted and prostrated himself before Shimon Hatzadik. He explained to his entourage that whenever he went out to battle he saw this person leading him to victory.
The other (also famous) story is that Shimon Hatzadik claimed to only once having eaten a sacrifice of a nazir (Nedarim 9a). He saw a boy with exceptionally beautiful hair, and asked him why he had become a nazir, as a result of which he had to shave his head. The boy answered that he once saw a reflection of himself in a pool, and felt vain at his beauty. At that moment he resolved to become a nazir, to overcome his vanity. Shimon Hatzadik felt that this was the only person who had been sincerely motivated to become a nazir.
While both of these stories show the greatness of Shimon Hatzadik, neither seems to indicate �righteousness�. My understanding of the concept of �tzadik� (in talmudic literature as opposed to the current usage of the term, when everyone is automatically a tzadik and a gaon to boot!) is that it refers to someone who has never sinned. This is in contrast to someone who has sinned and done teshuva. Hence the famous phrase �the place where baalei teshuva stand even the completely righteous can not stand� (Brachos 34b). We see from here the definition of a tzadik as someone who does not need to do teshuva, someone who has never sinned.
Why should that appellation be applied to Shimon Hatzadik?
It is true that he lived at a crossroads in Jewish history. As the last survivor of the Anshei Knesses Hagedola (men of the great assembly) he was the bridge between the era of prophecy and the era of chachamim. In a sense he was the first tanna (though the mishnaic era didn�t get going properly until much later, in the time of beis hillel and beis shammai).
As one of the Anshei Knesses Hagedola he was part of the canonization of the tanach, and hence bridged the period of �written law� and �oral law� (even though they both existed until that time, the distinction became clearer after the canonization).
He was also the last �good� cohen gadol. He served for 40 years. After that they would need to find a replacement every year (sometimes more often), showing that the candidate was not worthy of the office. He lived at a time of great upheaval for the Jewish nation, with both external pressures and threats from the Greeks and Syrians, and internal fighting between the Sadducees and Pharisees.
Yet none of these things seem to show �righteousness�. Good, wise, diplomatic, powerful - yes. Righteousness (in the strict sense of being a �tzadik�) � no.
A clever Rabbi showed me that R� Moshe Shapiro writes about this question in Afikei Mayim on Chanukah (p. 22). R� Moshe explains that just as Yosef Hatzadik prepared the way for the Israelites to go into exile in Egypt, so too Shimon Hatzadik prepared the Jewish people (as they were called by that time) to go into the Roman exile.
This is a very interesting and exciting idea. However, he doesn�t bring any sources for this being the meaning of �tzadik�, nor does he demonstrate that this is why Yosef was called a tzadik (the simple meaning � I think � is that he is a tzadik because he didn�t sin with Potiphar�s wife).
Another clever Rabbi told me that he is probably called Hatzadik because that was his name. (good answer!)
So, I am still not clear why he is called by that name. Does anyone have any other explanation, or source, that shows why Shimon is always called a tzadik?