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Rav Soloveitchik (quoted in Harrarei Kedem) has a discussion about this topic, but I don’t remember what he says, and I’m too lazy to go look it up.

Elisha,
If you were still in MTJ you wouldnt be so lazy.

R’ Haber,
is the order you have given for erev shabbos lightinng only for singles or even for those whos wives normally light the ner shabbos.

lesmtj
Being Rabbi Haber hasnt answered I can even if we normally would say that to do this would be nichnas ltoch divrei chavairo. The order is only for single girls who are mekabel shabbos with ner shabbos and dont have a man to then be motzei them with ner chanuka. perhaps with this we can say that with regard to havdalah that women dont make only men dothe mechaber wa simply contrasting it and saying you can do the other way.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that Men can be motzi a woman who was already mekabel Shabbos. Igros Moshe says that a man who was mekabel Shabbos can’t be yotze hadlakos neros. The inverse here may be true as well.
Therefore I would say that even married people should lechatchila light menorah first. Additionally lechatchila all melacha should be completed by the zman hadlaka.
I didn’t understand what you were trying to say as pshat in the mechaber.

R’ Haber,
Can you please clarify the opinion of the Igros Moshe. The reason given by the Mishna Berura that a woman that was mekabel shabbos is no worse than somebody who sees a ner chanukas seems to be unrefutable. Does R’ Moshe have a different reason? Also a wife is different than a single woman because their obligation is fulfilled through the talmudic dictum of ishto kgufo which would at first glance apply even if she was mekabel shabbos?